By Margaret Garvin, PhD, LPC; President of Ascent Performance Consultants, Snellville, GA
Purpose: The reason for which something exists or for which it has been done or made.
Default: A preset option automatically selected if the user does not choose one.
If you live life with Purpose, you design your own life, are driven by a compelling desire, and admired for your achievements in life. You enjoy the thrill of overcoming challenges in reaching life’s destination. A purposeful person handles adversity by developing alternatives to problems and seeking solutions. By living life on Purpose, you daily pursue excellence and know who God designed you to be. You asked the biggest life question “Why am I here?” And you live life on purpose and with purpose. You are strong enough to make hard decisions, take risks, and endure comments and criticisms of others and apt to wholeheartedly pursue your primary purpose, live out dreams, and find personal fulfillment. Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard wrote on the definition of life’s purpose: "The thing is to understand myself, to see what God really wants me to do; the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live or die." This is living with purpose.
If you live life by Default, you may be doomed to wander aimlessly throughout life without any rhyme or reason for your actions. If you live by Default, when adversity and obstacles block your path, you hide, turn, walk away, and live in denial. If you live life by Default, you have a daily pursuit of mediocrity. You may change jobs, change schools, change mates, or change cities, and still feel unfulfilled and empty. You don’t have any peace of mind. You seek satisfaction from shopping, drugs, overeating, over work, too much television, sex, or other addictions. You are constantly sick and tired and want to remain isolated from others. Your biggest question is “Why am I here?” It goes unanswered. You try to please everybody else and forget about pleasing yourself. A philosopher said “Following the herd is a sure route to mediocrity.” People who live by default are not willing to be brutally honest and make hard decisions. People who live by default prefer convenience over challenge and prefer to play it safe rather than to take risks and live their dreams. Taking risks means you might fail and incur some embarrassment. Not everyone is internally secure enough in themselves to endure some ridicule, laughter, and rejection from others. That’s living by default. It’s frustrating, lonely, and unfulfilling.
How To Find Meaning and Purpose in Your Life
1. Write at the top of a sheet of paper, “What is My Purpose in Life?”
2. Then answer these questions:
a. What would I do for free just because I enjoy doing it?
b. What gives me reason to get out of bed each day?
c. What is it that I’d do even if my life was threatened for doing it?
3. Now, make four columns on the page. Label them as Others, Qualities, Values, Passions
a. OTHERS: Write the names of people who seem truly alive to you and inspire you -- friends, family, and acquaintances.
b. QUALITIES: List your personal qualities that are similar to those you admire.
c. VALUES: Identify your core values. Values define what you stand for in your life.
d. PASSIONS: Write down your Passions. Passions are the things that you love to do (sports, arts, any skills, talents, and abilities).
There may be multiple items that resonate with you deeply. Begin experimenting with what you like to do and what interests you. Explore those options and you'll get closer to your Purpose. Seek help from a professional counselor, life coach, or clergy to help you define and live a purposeful life.
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